"Miles from Home", the "American Gigolo" kisses a "Pretty Woman"

The other day I heard that Indians were burning effigies of Richard Gere and that a magistrate has issued an arrest warrant against him. At first I thought that India had finally imported the movies "Dr. T and the Women" or "First Knight" and people were outraged at how tragically poor both those movies were. Instead Gere, who is a longtime HIV/AIDS advocate, actually came to India to help promote AIDS awareness since India now has more HIV positive people than any other country. The protest happened because Gere kissed actress Shilpa Shetty on the cheek at the event. So Shetty and Gere allegedly violated an obscenity law against any public displays of affection or public acts that can be considered indecent. The kiss on the cheek was considered "beyond vulgarity" by the conservative Shiv Sena party who were the ones responsible for the protest. Thankfully not all Indians are calling for the heads of Shetty and Gere.



What makes me confused and angry is that if the Shiv Sena party is so outraged at this so called vulgarity then I wonder what frack they are doing about the countless number of people using the public streets as their own urinals. I am tired of seeing and smelling urine. The people doing this do not even try to be modest and spare the public the sight of them handling their dinks. It is really pissing me off (pun definitely intended). I have seen more penises in my six months here than Jenna Jameson has in her entire career. Where the hell are the flaming effigies and arrest warrants for these people! The people doing this are not all poor or homeless either. So the root cause is not one of poverty. Also I won't even get started on the public acts of defecation.



So anyone can essentially be charged with a crime for displaying any type of public affection and it doesn't matter if they are married, dating or friends. I wonder if it is even considered acceptable to hold someone's hand or put an arm around them. Are those acts, if done in public, also defined as vulgarity? Each of the three penal codes that Shetty and Gere allegedly violated can carry up to 3 months jail time. I guess the moral of the story is that public amorous behavior will not be tolerated under penalty of imprisonment but feel free to piss and sh*t in public.

Had Your Lunch?

The first time that this question was asked to me, I must admit, I was completely befuddled. Sure, it sounds like a simple and straightforward question, but as with many situations, context is paramount. So here was the situation:



I had gone down to the reception area of NCBS (where I work) to get a set of keys for a common freezer that I needed access to. There are always a couple of fellows who sit at the front desk and are meant to act as security as well as key dispensers. On this particular occassion, only one guy was there, and after I asked for the key and was in the process of signing it out, he asks, "Had your lunch?" Now, as I do not really know these guys (I don't even know their names, though I am always friendly with them) I was kind of taken aback as my immediate thought was, "My god, is this his way of asking me to have lunch with him?" Luckily I had already had my lunch so I was able to say (truthfully) "Yes." I kept this to myself as I was not exactly sure as to what had transpired, though I was pretty sure that this guy was totally into me.



Well, as time has passed I have had to accept that Security Guy is not into me, because every time that I go down to get a key, I am asked if I have eaten something or another by whichever fellow happens to be there. I thought it possible that maybe one or two of the security guys might have a thing for me, but all of them? Not likely. After inquiring about these strange questions to my lab mates, I have found out that asking if one has had breakfast, lunch, dinner, or tea is the Karnataka equivalent of asking "How are you?" My lab mates found it quite hilarious that I had thought that this guy was hitting on me, and it has taken quite a while for my bruised ego to mend, but I will NEVER again try to read between the lines in cross-cultural dealings.



Maybe this doesn't sound so strange to you, but I just keep imagining the look that I would get if, when checking out at a grocery store in the US, instead of the obligatory, "How are you?" I asked the cashier "Had your lunch?"

Easter in Madikeri

I hope that everyone had a nice Easter this year. We celebrated the holiday by taking a couple of days off of work and going with some friends to Madikeri, which is about 160 miles outside of Bangalore. Madikeri lies in the Western Ghats, one of the major mountain ranges in India, and the city is around 1,200 feet above sea level. We left with our friends Roopa, Ravi, and their daughter Ananya, early Friday morning and arrived in Madikeri in the early afternoon, just in time for lunch! One of the specialties of the region is a pork curry, and as pork is quite rare in the Bangalore area, the omnivores among us (Eric, Ravi, and I) took advantage while poor Roopa and Ananya were forced to watch the ensuing gluttony. It was delicious. After eating ourselves nearly to death, we made our way to our lodging for the weekend, and beautiful old home nestled among the hills. The area is known for coffee growing, so we took a little tour of a coffee plantation where alongside the coffee, pepper, cardamom, and vanilla are grown.



After a long day, we settled in for the night (after the obligatory hour long power outage) and soon discovered that we were not alone in our bed, but were instead sharing it with a few visitors; namely cockroaches (who really had a taste for Eric's toes)! This is the price that we had to pay to get away from the noise and pollution of the city. I suppose that when you decide to get out and enjoy nature, you shouldn't be surprised when nature decides to enjoy you in return. After two toe biting episodes, we figured out that we could tuck our covers under the mattress really tightly and leave the light in our bathroom on to keep the critters away.



The next morning we got ready for the main attraction, a trek to the peak of one of the mountains. We drove out to a tiny little town at the foot of the mountains and proceeded to get into a four wheel drive which took us the rest of the way (about 4 miles of pretty rough roads) to the base of the mountain. We decided (wisely, I think) to scale the easier of the two mountains that we had to choose from, and with our guide leading us, we took off. The next hour or so was spent climbing up a narrow path to the summit. It was hard work, and the heat and humidity made the trek quite a task (at least for us, but our guide did not have a drop of sweat on him!), but it was worth the effort for the view. Spectacular! We made our way down the mountain and took a well-deserved break at a beautiful waterfall before having a home cooked meal back at "base camp". After returning to our lodging, the evening was spent by myself and Ananya picking up fallen flowers to make a collage and reading stories during the daily power outage while Eric got caught up on some of his radio shows (Roopa and Ravi spent the evening out meditating, no I am not kidding). After a hard but fun day, we prepared to face the cockroaches once again. The tactics implemented the previous evening did not fail us this night, and Eric suffered nary a single bite.





On Sunday we slept in and leisurely prepared for our departure. On the way back to the city, we stopped in Mysore and visited the palace which was (and is) the home to the Mysore Maharajah. The palace is beautiful, and certainly rivals those that we saw in Europe. After lunch in Mysore, we headed back to Bangalore. Back to congestion, traffic, noise, and so many people, but also back to hot water and cold drinks (the power in Madikeri was not stable enough for us to get hot water or for the refrigerator to continually work), and most importantly, cockroaches that know better than to crawl into bed with us!



Despite the cockroaches (and the slugs, I won't go into it, but cockroaches were only but one of our evening visitors), we had a great time, the scenery was beautiful and the company was fantastic. We are already looking forward to our next trip out of the city, and we'll keep you posted!

The Beggar and the Performer

It's been awhile since I posted but I wanted to share an interesting situation that both Suzi and I found ourselves in while in Singapore. So we were walking down a famous shopping area named Orchard St. and we happened to pass by a street performer who was pretending to be a statue. This guy was dressed in silver clothing (pants and long shirt) and any exposed skin was covered in silver paint. It was about 90F with what felt like 100% humidity. I immediately thought of the Dennis Leary song A**hole where one of the lyrics is "I walk around in the summertime saying How-about-this-heat". I controlled the urge to mess with the guy by saying something as jerky as that.



We continued walking and stopped by many of the malls to do various shopping. A couple hours later we started to head back to the hotel and again walked past the same performer. He was still in the exact same uncomfortable statue position. It had been at least two hours since we last saw him so we slowed a bit just to admire him. After about a minute we continued walking and that is when we noticed a beggar sitting directly across from the performer. When looking more closely at the beggar we realized that he had no arms. The man's left arm was amputated above the elbow and the right arm was taken almost to the shoulder. We continued walking and I said to Suzi that I wanted to go back and give the guy some money. She asked me who I was going to give money to and I said the performer. Suzi looked puzzled and replied, "Instead of the guy with no arms?" Feeling a little foolish I started to agreed with her about giving the money to the beggar. However, it brought up an interesting question. Do you give money to someone that is working hard performing for a living or do you give to a disabled beggar? I think the common initial response would be to give to the guy with no arms probably out of pity. However, the performer is at least working for a living doing something that the disabled guy could probably also do if he wanted. Anyway, since I am a bleeding heart liberal I gave both men money and I walked away happy.



About a few blocks away we came upon another guy with no legs sitting in a wheelchair. I screamed silently to myself, "Are you fracking kidding me!" I mean there is only so much a person can take. Unlike the other disabled guy this man was playing the horn for money. He was actually pretty good. Also he had a prime spot on the corner so at every red light he was guaranteed an audience. It's all about location, location, location. I did not have much money left so I went back to the first disabled guy and took back my money. I drew a few horrified glances but what was anyone going to do. Also it is not like the guy with no arms would stop me right? Of course I am kidding. I gave whatever money I had left to the wheelchair guy.



With no more spare change left I seriously expected to next see a deaf mute blind quadruple amputee playing a flute before we got back to the hotel. Thankfully the rest of the walk was uneventful because I really did not feel like going to an ATM.

Plain Jain

Since it has been a while since I have written about Indian holidays, I thought that I would write about one of the more recent ones which was celebrated on Saturday. There have been a couple of intervening celebrations, but I was either not motivated to write about them, or in one case I really couldn't figure out what was being celebrated (despite asking my colleagues and looking it up on the web).



In Jainism, Mahavir Jayanti is the most important religious holiday. It celebrates of the birth of Mahavira, the last Tirthankara. A Tir WHAT you are saying... A Tirthankara is a person who achieves enlightenment by asceticism (abstinence from worldly pleasures). At the end of a Tirthankara's life, he or she achieves liberation of the cycle of infinite births and deaths (moksh). Mahavir Swami (aka Mahavira) lived from 599-527 BC and his existence is a historically accepted fact. He was born a prince, but at the age of thirty, he renounced his kingdom and spent the next twelve and a half years meditating in deep silence. He conquered his worldly desires, feelings and relationships, and practiced humanity to all living things. He spent the next thirty years travelling throughout India teaching others how to acheive enlightenment. The next Tirthankara is not expected for another 81,500 years, highlighting just how difficult it is to achieve enlightenment.



In reading a little about Jainism, I have found it to have a really nice philosophy. Jains believe all souls are equal because they all possess the potential of being liberated and attaining Moksha, meaning that individuals who practice this religion have a great deal of respect for all living things. Compassion for all life, human and non-human, is central to Jainism. Human life is valued as a unique, rare opportunity to reach enlightenment. To kill any person, no matter what crime he may have committed, is considered unimaginably abhorrent. Additionally, because of the high value placed on all living things, Jainism is the only religion which requires strict vegetarianism. Jainism's stance on nonviolence goes much beyond vegetarianism. Jains refuse food obtained with unnecessary cruelty. Many are vegan due to the violence of modern dairy farms. The Jain diet excludes most root vegetables, as they believe this destroys entire plants unnecessarily. For instance, if you eat apples, you do not destroy whole trees, but for root vegetables, whole plants are uprooted and are therefore avoided. Jains are expected to be non-violent in thought, word and deed, both toward humans and toward every other possible living creature, including even themselves. It is for this reason that a truly orthodox Jain will never cut even one hair anywhere on his own body, and would never dream of giving anyone else a haircut. Jain monks walk barefoot and sweep the ground in front of them to avoid killing any insect, and strict Jains may wear a mask over their nose and mouth to avoid accidentally inhaling or swallowing small insects. Another interesting and little known fact is that the swastika is one of Jainism's holiest symbol. There is unfortunately little intersection between the beliefs of Jainism and the other philosphy which is sadly more widely associated with this symbol.



Okay, the world religion lesson is done for the day!