Friends I have made along the way

Along with all of the wonderful human friends that I have had the pleasure of making in India is a forever growing list of four-legged beasts that daily enrich my life and give me doses of both joy and sometimes heartbreak. I thought that I might introduce you all to some of my current friends who I try to visit daily if I can find them and lately, if they can find me.
One of my most favorite friends is Leo, a little puppy that I noticed a couple of months ago a few blocks from our home rooting through a garbage heap in search for some food. He was very young, alone and looked tragically thin. Despite his desperate situation he was so friendly and adorable that he was just irresistible so I went out and bought a bag of dog food and began to visit him daily. He was soon adopted by some construction workers living at the building site in the emerging structure and I became a regular visitor in the afternoons on my way home from work. Leo soon found a canine friend in Ram, an older male dog who shares Leo’s territory and his sweet and gentle temperament with the sometimes rambunctious Leo won me over so I began to bring him food everyday as well. Everyday I look forward to meeting these guys and I think that they like to see me too, at least for the food. As soon as Leo sees me he jumps up and starts trying to get into my purse or bag looking for his food, but what I believe both he and Ram like best are the pets, scratches and rubs that I dole out liberally. The downside to feeding these fellows on the street is that it invariably draws a crowd of onlookers, people with nothing better to do than to gawk at a foreigner wasting her time on street dogs. But yesterday I had a very nice experience, I had stopped to feed Leo and Ram as usual, they have been expelled from the construction site as new workers have replaced the ones who had adopted them and they now reside on a fairly busy street where they chill in front of the shops that line the road. I had fed Leo and he had fallen asleep on the steps of one of the shops and Ram, who had arrived late to the party, was finishing up his dinner when an elderly Indian gentleman emerged from the shop that we were in front of. He stopped when he saw me and I prepared for the worst, I have been scolded many times by the locals about “spoiling” the dogs and have been told that they won’t eat the dog food that I bring, and to not feed the dogs too near their homes less they be bothered by them. To my surprise and joy, he broke out into a grin and said, “God bless you” and walked away. He had no way of knowing how much his kind words meant to me that evening, I had been so frustrated with this place, with the people in this place and with just 3 effortless words, he restored me.



Another of my canine friends does not have a name, I do not know where he lives, I do not know if he is loved and cared for. I meet him periodically while I am waiting on the roadside in the mornings waiting for my shuttle to pick me up and carry me off to work. He is the most kind and gentle dog and when I look into his eyes I believe that I might be able to see his soul. I always keep several packs of cookies in my bag for such occasions, but he generally prefers to just be petted, refraining from eating too much until I have had to leave him. After every encounter with him I have to wash my hands for several minutes because the poor fellow is so dirty. He would make a wonderful pet and I wish more than anything that some kind person would pick him up, give him a bath, treat his mange, and love him forever.
I do not discriminate when it comes to my friends and so if any cat crosses my path I try to entice it to join my menagerie with extra cat food that I also carry in my pack (as you can imagine my bag is pretty full what with the biscuits, dog food and cat food). That is how I came across Templeton, the temple cat. There is a temple on my street and they love to play dreadful music from loudspeakers beginning from around 5:30 AM every day. I hated that temple. That is, until I met Templeton. Templeton is a glorious ginger tom whose muscles ripple beneath his furry coat unlike the flabby spoiled felines that you will find just down the street in our apartment. Templeton is extraordinary because unlike every other street cat I have ever met; he doesn’t have the good sense to be afraid of people. To the contrary as soon as he spots an unwitting homo sapien he wraps himself around their ankles in a buttery whirl before they realize that he is there. This is only partly true, with Templeton you most often hear him long before you see him, he is the sort of cat that knows what he wants and he isn’t afraid to ask, no, demand it. Templeton has lots of friends at the temple who bring him milk to sustain the friendship and I naturally joined the rabble of adoring Templeton fans but I bring him cat food instead. A man can’t live on milk alone, right? And he doesn’t seem to mind too much if I pet him while he eats, aren’t I lucky? But as I said Templeton is a demanding sort and last Saturday I didn’t go to work and therefore wasn’t at the temple at 6:50 to feed his majesty and he just would not stand for that behavior so he came to find me. He at least waited a few hours to allow me the time to see the error of my ways, but when I hadn’t appeared by 9 I guess he decided enough was enough, he was hungry and he was going to get his breakfast even if it wasn’t delivered. He must have a great sense of smell and could detect the odors of cat food wafting from our open windows and made a beeline for our apartment where he sat himself just under our open window and loudly began to demand that I stop whatever I was doing and get him his breakfast. I of course did as I was told to the horror of Mira and Chaya, but what can I say, I am a slave to Templeton. He stopped by a couple of other times last weekend when he got hungry; I guess he didn’t trust that I would come find him so he took the initiative. I think I have restored his faith in me though as I have made it to the temple on time every day this week to meet him. But today is Friday and I am again not going to work tomorrow so I will be expecting company in the morning.

Sorry, I actually posted this on Monday, not Friday as I had hoped. Templeton did not come to our house this weekend for his breakfast, our house is being painted and he was probably scared away by the workers but fear not, I met him at the temple this morning right on schedule.

Silver Linings

I don't think that I could ever make the argument that I am a starry-eyed optimist, that I'm a glass-half-full sort of gal. But sometimes focusing on the positive is the best way, maybe even the only way to endure. You may remember a post that I wrote several months ago about the relief that accompanied the news that Eric could remain with me in India instead of returning to the US for work. Well, it seems that our luck has run out as we learned this week that when I return to India in January following our winter holiday, I will be alone. We have had these scares in the past but this time Eric assures me that it is definite and we are making plans for his return to the USA.

I should be sad, scared, worried; those would all be rational responses but instead I find myself excited, sometimes almost giddy at the thought of Eric settled back home, just waiting a few short months for me and the girls to arrive. I have happily been making calls to apartment complexes, just thrilled knowing that we will have a place to stay when we arrive back in the US, a home ready and waiting for us almost as though we never left. A home with a stove, oven, adult-sized refrigerator and washing machine, dishwasher, hot water, the list goes on and on and on...

We have been very lucky, we have had the opportunity to spend two whole years (today was our 2 year anniversary of arriving in Bangalore) living an adventure that I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would have. I have been able to share that adventure with the most wonderful guy that I have ever known, we have had some great times here and we have had some miserable times as well but we had them all together. How can I be upset about 6 months apart when we have had such an enriching two years together in India? I feel like expecting any more would be just selfish and I am so happy for Eric that he gets to go home, I know how much he misses it.

I am not an idiot though, I know that my last six months in India without Eric is going to be hard for both of us, we have already done the long-distance thing and it was no picnic. That compared to this was child's play, calling Peoria to Arlington Heights long-distance seems ridiculous when you stack that against Bangalore-Arlington Heights. But we are tough and six months isn't that long; I have Mira and Chaya to keep me company and comfort me and Eric will have Big Macs and Whoppers.

Aren't silver linings wonderful?

Last Day Bombay

Well, I have survived my week and a half long visit to Mumbai (provided that I make it through this one last day). I am happy to report that I have mastered the technique that I came here to learn (okay, mastered may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I can manage just fine) so the trip was a success. I only got to see a bit of Mumbai, but from what I saw it seems not too different from Bangalore but appears to have better infrastructure. The downside of Mumbai is the weather, it is just too hot and humid to get out and enjoy yourself. I met with a a friend of a friend on Sunday to see some of the city and I was only able to walk around for a bit at a time before I felt as though I was going to melt. I visited the Gateway of India which I am sad to report was slightly underwhelming, it was under construction and was surrounded by scaffolding but even without the construction it would have been a bit of a disappointment. I expected something bigger and a bit more impressive I guess. One of the big differences between Bombay and Bangalore is the traffic; there are many fewer motorcycles and scooters in Bombay (maybe because of the hot weather?) and autorickshaws are not allowed in the main part of town. The effect of this is astounding, traffic is much more calm and orderly and you feel a little less like a spectator in a fast-paced game of bumper cars. To be fair though, Bombay instead has these really old-fashioned taxis and the taxi driver that I took back to TIFR on Sunday night seemed to think that we were in the Indy 500, he was nutters. The other great thing about Bombay is that there is no haggling over the price of a taxi ride, they all use their meters without any argument and are willing to give you your change, in fact, they are expected to give you your change. This is totally different from Bangalore where auto drivers will nearly never use their meters and almost always try to cheat their customers (both locals and foreigners). It was refreshing to catch a ride without having to first mentally prepare yourself for the battle over the cost of the trip.

As I have not had much outside of the lab to do this past week and a half, I have been going to the gym as often as I can. The gym here at TIFR (as compared to the gym at NCBS) is much bigger with a lot more equipment, but it is all older and there is no air conditioning (running 3 miles in 90 degree 90% humidity weather is a real challenge since I am a running weenie). In fact, some of the equipment is so old that they are pieces that I have only seen in old movies and old TV shows. Do you remember those machines that have a band that you put around your waist or your butt, you turn the power on and it jiggles away your fat? They have that machine. They also have a machine that you are supposed to sit on and it jiggles away your butt and thighs (I wish). Too funny. I am pretty sure that the utility of these dinosaurs have been disproven, but here they are regardless. Here are some pics in case you have no idea what I am talking about.

Another very strange thing that you find (or rather don't find) at the gym are shoes. Most people work out barefoot which, I am sorry, I find disgusting. People have no problems using cycles and treadmills without shoes and I just can't help but to imagine the fungi proliferating on the pedals and tread, yuck! I actually forgot my running shoes one day at the gym at NCBS in Bangalore and ran without them (but with socks) and I will NEVER do that again, my ankles, shins and calves killed me for at least a week. Anyway, this nasty no-shoe phenomenon is at a whole different level at the TIFR gym as they require people to wear shoes on the treadmill but the gym provides common shoes that all of the treadmill users SHARE..... I guess that I shouldn't over-react as this happens in bowling alleys across the US, but I see two major differences which, for me, make all of the difference. First, running on a treadmill in Bombay's heat and humidity is a vastly different activity than chucking a few balls down a lane in a temperature-controlled bowling alley. My socks are soaked after my 30 minutes on the treadmill, not so much after bowling a few frames. Second, the disinfectant spray used in bowling alleys. I put full faith in that stuff and am certain that it kills 99.9% of all icky nasty foot germs. Or maybe not. Anyway, you are not going to catch me padding around a gym without shoes on, or worse, using a pair of shoes that some dude just sweated in for the last hour, gross!

My trip to Mumbai has been educational, at the least, but I can't wait until tomorrow when I am back in Bangalore, back to beautiful weather, back to Eric, Mira and Chaya, back to the craziness, but familiar craziness of my Bangalore. Cheating auto drivers, shoeless gymmers and all.......

A pet's view

Excerpts from the Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing

Excerpts from the Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe, for now...

Blogging from Bombay!

Hi everyone, this is my first post written in Mumbai (aka Bombay). I arrived this morning to begin a 12 day visit to learn semi-sectioning so that I can get better images and more accurate counts of degenerated photoreceptors for my experiments. The trip here was totally uneventful and really quick and easy. My first impressions of Mumbai (compared to Bangalore) are that it is actually much more orderly; the infrastructure seems to have been planned and executed much more sensibly than in B'lore and the roads and traffic are much better (based on my one hour taxi ride from the airport to TIFR). The airport seems nice, I honestly wasn't there long as my suitcase beat me to the terminal (maybe the first time ever for that). The downside to Mumbai is that is also seems much older and the buildings are typically much shabbier and dingier. In fact most of them literally seems to me moldering away, this is probably the result of a much stronger monsoon and much more rain but many of the buildings would make GREAT haunted houses ('tis the season after all). TIFR (the institute that I am visiting) is much older than NCBS but sits right on the Indian Ocean which mostly makes us for it. I have already settled in, I am staying in an air-conditioned guest house room which is okay looking but has satellite cable and unrestricted Wi-fi! Yahoo! I may never leave! I have already made it to the gym which is not air conditioned and I think that I may have lost about 5 pounds in water weight. It is hot and humid here so I will be sweating it out at the gym but thank goodness I have an A/C room to come back to. Hopefully I will get a chance to get out and see a bit of the city this weekend so I will keep you posted. The great news is that there are several resident dogs and cats at TIFR so hopefully I can make some animal friends while I am here (I miss my fuzzy Mira and Chaya already). Okay, I need to replenish some fluids and get some food into me so good night!

Is there any good news in the world?

Maybe I am just having a down day (my laptop is busted and causing me a good deal of stress), but has anyone else noticed how bad the news has been lately? Ever since we returned to India at the end of July and were greeted by the bombings here and in Ahmedabad, things have just become worse. With terrible flooding in Bihar and Maharashtra, violence against Christians in Orissa and Mangalore, another set of bombings in Delhi last weekend and now the news tonight that a blast was detonated at the Marriott in Islamabad, Pakistan killing 60 (at least from tonight's latest reports) I just feel dead inside. And the line always is something like, "We will root out the terrorists and not stand for this violence!" Same old stale, empty rhetoric. It is just so played that I can't even stand to listen to it anymore. Has anyone noticed that the policies practiced by governments all around the world in combating terrorism haven't been working? Killing and bombings just lead to more killings and bombing and there seems to be no end in sight. Ick, this is all so disgusting that I think that I need a shower. The sad thing is that I really don't even follow the news too much here so I am sure there are plenty more horrible things going on that I am missing.

Don't even get me started on the news from the US; greedy irresponsible banks and corporations being bailed out by a greedy and irresponsible administration at the expense of taxpayers. Global markets shaken by speculators trying to make a quick buck betting against the economy and leaving the average investor in the lurch. How have we come to this? What sort of a world have we created? Please, somebody give me a reason to believe that the human race shouldn't just be chalked up as a poorly planed experiment by some misguided and deranged scientist because most of the time I really wonder...

On the other hand, I look to my right and Mira is sleeping on the chair beside me and she looks so peaceful and adorable. Maybe cats would do a better job of things if they were in charge. Mira is at least as qualified to run for national office as Sarah Palin is so maybe we should give it some serious thought (like McCain did, har, har). Mira for President, Chaya for VP. Sounds good, doesn't it? Certainly better than McCain/Palin. Yuck, there is just no getting away from the bad news these days...

It is hard to quit Smoky

I have sad news to report concerning Smoky, after more than a month of trying to make her a part of our family we finally came to the realization that it just wasn't working and we didn't foresee any change that was going to improve the situation. We had tried everything; drugs, behavioral therapy, and homeopathy but nothing was getting us even close to a sustainable peaceful existence. We thought that maybe the homeopathy was helping with Smoky's urination and spraying issues, but on Friday I came home from work and brought Smoky in the kitchen with me so that I could do dishes (she still couldn't be left unsupervised without making a mess or being picked on by Mira or Chaya) and she went right to the corner of the kitchen and peed. I looked up to see this but also noticed that Mira and Chaya were lying at the door to the kitchen, blocking Smoky in. Even if Smoky wanted to use the litter she couldn't, because Mira and Chaya just wouldn't ever leave her alone. I realized that even if we could prevent Smoky's urge to spray and urinate, she still wouldn't be free to get to the litter box in peace. As more than a month of exposure to Smoky never reduced Mira and Chaya's stalking and attacking Eric and I could not believe that they ever would accept her and just leave her alone. Homeopathy was suggested to us for Mira and Chaya also to reduce their stalking of Smoky, but we did not want to drug every cat on the house just on the off chance that it might work. Before Smoky came to our home Mira and Chaya were fine so we felt that it wasn't right or fair to them to put them on medicines to fix the problem that we created by introducing her into the home. When we adopted Mira and Chaya we took the responsibility to make and keep them healthy and happy and I felt that we were failing them and stuffing them full of medicines would be a breach of those responsibilities on our part. On Friday night Mira also attacked Smoky and that was really the final deciding factor, enough was enough. No one was happy or relaxed, Smoky wasn't as she had developed these spraying and urination problems and was constantly being stalked, Mira and Chaya weren't as they were jumpy and on edge all the time, and Eric and I weren't as we were also on edge and not able to do really anything since Smoky required such close monitoring. It was a difficult decision and we hated to make it, but once we decided to return Smoky to her former home and owner Pami, we felt an enormous sense of relief and peace. I had spent the previous month crying so many times from despair and stress but after the decision was made I haven't cried a single time. I feel that this is an indication that we made the right decision because I just don't feel badly about it, it is the best decision for everyone involved. We took Smoky back to Pami Saturday afternoon and she happily hopped out of her basket and was greeted by a couple of Pami's cats. There was no hissing or fighting, just sniffing which was already an improvement from the scene at our house. Smoky didn't seem to be bothered a bit which was wonderful to see and Pami was happy to see her back in her home and was sure that she would be just fine and happy there. When we returned home we set about cleaning and trying to set everything back to normal, retuning bedding, pillows, stuffed animals, curtains, rugs, toys, carriers, etc. all to their original positions. Over the course of the more than a month that Smoky was with us our house was transformed to try to accommodate her and though we hadn't noticed as it was quite gradual, it had become somewhat unrecognizable. The effect that removing Smoky and setting the house back to normal had on Mira and Chaya was immediate and wonderful. They are so much more calm, they are playful again and now we actually have time to play with them like we used to. We have time to cook and we can go out and not feel guilty that we have kept Smoky shut up in her room. As I said, it was a difficult decision, but for us and our family it was the right one. We are glad that we had the chance to be a small part of Smoky's life and we are truly sorry that it didn't work out but we believe that we did everything that we could do, but there were some things that we just weren't willing to experiment with on our Mira and Chaya.

I also want to say thanks to everyone who helped us out, either by giving me moral support or giving us suggestions on what else to try. Yasmine, Lalitha and Natasha were great in supporting me but also gave tons of great advice so thank you guys so much, I am so lucky to have found such wonderful animal-loving friends here in India (it took me moving to India to find Lalitha, though she is actually in SF). My parents and especially my coworkers were a huge source of support, I can't even tell you how many days I broke down in lab and were comforted by Neha, Gayatri, Swarna and Rachana. You guys are awesome and aside from having the opportunity to meet Smoky, the other wonderful result of this difficult situation is that I made a new friend (Natasha) and I was reminded how wonderful my friends and family are and how I can count on their support no matter what.

Joy in Poopville!

I knew that today was going to be a good day. How did I know? Did I read it in the tea leaves? Did my crystal ball tell me? Did I crack open a promising fortune cookie? Nope, I looked inside the litter box and what greeted me there has made my day. I have no idea what has happened to me, but I am riveted by litter box deposits and have been monitoring them like a hawk for the past month (literally, the whole month). Since Mira developed chronic diarrhea we have been frantically trying to figure out what is wrong and nothing has worked. This past Saturday we took her to the vet (where we stupidly showed up when they were closed, they close for a few hours in the afternoon and I had forgotten so we had to wait for over an hour for it to open. But to burn time Eric picked up a pizza from Domino's, and it was AWESOME!!! Which is amazing since I absolutely hate Domino's in the US, I would rather eat belly-button lint. Either my palette is out of whack or I have actually found something American that is actually better in India. Anyway, I digress). Okay, back to the vet. Again everything seemed okay according to the vet, no temperature, no swelling of any glands or organs, no additional symptoms, still no answers. We had brought in a sample for analysis in the hopes that the results might reveal the problem and we were discussing all possible causes that we could think of. I have done a ton of reading on cat diarrhea in the past month and nothing seemed to fit so I brought up the stress angle again. The vet said it was possible but he had never heard of anything like it, especially since it has lasted so long. Then I had a thought. I asked if maybe we should try to switch her food. She has been on this food for months and months but I knew that food allergies could cause diarrhea, and because this food isn't new to her I always discounted allergies as the cause. And because switching food often causes diarrhea I have not really wanted to compound the problem. But after a month you start to grasp at any straw that is available. The vet said, "Sure, why not? It can't make it any worse I suppose." So we bought the most expensive food available (Royal Canin) and took her home and switched the food immediately. I am happy to report that since that time Mira's diarrhea has reduced to the point that today she was almost completely normal! I am so happy! Poop makes me happy! But only solid poop, not runny poop! I am an idiot, but I don't care because I am so happy! I don't even mind that we have to buy the most expensive food in the universe and that we have a 4 kg (9 lb.) bag of Whiskas that is totally useless! Now if only we could get things sorted out with Smoky........
PS-You should all consider yourself lucky that I didn't post pics this time! ;-)

Harnessing the kitty power

One of the purchases that we were excited to make in the US and bring back to Bangalore with us this summer are harnesses for Mira and Chaya. When we return to the US we plan to fly them back with us and since we will have to collect them when we transfer planes (either in France or Germany) and keep them until we check in for our flight to Chicago we thought that it would be good if we could take them out of their carriers and not have them take off running through the airport. We figured that if we trained them to wear harness and could "walk" them around on a leash it would give them the chance to be out of their carrier for some time between the long flights but also give us the piece of mind that we won't lose them. So I bought two harnesses with matching leashes and once we returned to India in July we set about training them to get accustomed to both the harness and the leash. Let me just say that they were not (are still are not) thrilled to have the harness on but they have improved a ton. Initially as soon as the harness was put on Chaya she would fall over as though she had been shot and proceed to roll around in an attempt to get the thing off. She would get up, walk a few paces, then fall down again as though the harness had paralyzed her legs (have you ever seen video of those fainting goats, something like that). Mira, on the other hand, never fell over but would slink along the floor as though the harness was strapped with a fifty pound weight. In order to get them more excited about harness time I would give them plenty of treats but soon discovered that the best treat of all was letting them go outside, but only when their harness is on. Chaya loves to go outside and is pretty good at sneaking out when she is not supposed to so actually getting permission to go out is the best gift that I can give her. This past weekend we did some more training after about a month off (with Smoky's arrival I haven't wanted to stress them anymore and we haven't have time to do the training with all of the room switching and stuff) and I introduced them to their leashes. Everything went great, I took them up to the roof with their harnesses on and they played for about an hour until Mira decided that she wanted to go down to the ground floor and check that out. I put her on her leash and all was well, until Chaya showed up. I put her on her leash and soon learned a couple of valuable lessons about having cats on leashes. First, cats spook easily, and motorcycles are very scary when they are flying down the street. Second, one person can not handle two leashed and harnessed cats, this may be possible for dogs but I can't believe that it is for cats. Third, make sure that the harness is on tight enough that both cats can not slip out of it when they are trying to pull their hapless owner in half by going in two different directions. Luckily Eric ended up with only a scratch down his ankle and I spent 10 minutes trying to coax Chaya out of the gutter. Lesson learned, I don't think we'll be strolling down the street anytime soon. But don't they look cute in their harnesses?
Mira, wearing a Diane vonFurstenberg number in this season's hottest color, aquamarine.

Chaya looks gorgeous in her slimming Dolce & Gabbana cotton candy harness.

Strike a pose divas!

Will the Smoke ever clear?

This weekend will mark the fourth week that we have had Smoky with us in our home. It has been a really arduous and emotional month since we have grown to care for her so much but at the same time are so frustrated by her misbehaviors. She still urinates outside of the litter box though she has been a little better, but honestly she is generally kept in 2 rooms where we have put 4 litter boxes to increase her chances of hitting one. This week we noticed that she is spraying also, I am not sure if we missed this behavior since it is hard to notice or if this is just a new development. Her favorite places to spray and urinate are those spots that Mira and Chaya like to sleep so we feel that this is most likely passive aggression toward the girls. We have been keeping them separated but they still manage to fight at the door with Smoky attacking one side while Mira and Chaya bang away at the opposite side. Mira's diarrhea has persisted these four weeks and despite two different antibiotics, probiotics, and steroids, it is no better. We are exhausted with all of the stress that has descended on our previously happy little home. The girls are now so jumpy, even when Smoky is in her room, that if you try to pet them they jump a mile. Mira slinks around and they both lay just outside the door to Smoky's room, staring at it. We keep Smoky out in the house and the girls closed up while we are at home in the evenings but of course this means that we get no time with them which is really hard for all of us because they cry and meow because they want out.

Last night after I had a mini-breakdown following another door fighting session and two Smoky-sprayings I cried on the phone to my friend and cat-guru Yasmine and then had a talk with Eric about the situation. It just isn't getting any better but I am so hesitant to give up. We have decided to try one last-ditch effort: let them try to work it out (or fight it out) for themselves (supervised, of course). While we are at home we will let them be together and see if they can come to any sort of an understanding on their own. We will give it a week and reassess the situation at that time. In the words of Michael Buffer, "Let's get ready to rumble!" We started the grand experiment last night at around 8:30 or so. By 9:30 they had to be separated for the night because the fur was flying (literally, no joke, Smoky got a piece of Mira). We let them be together again this morning while we were getting ready for work and Smoky peed in the kitchen. So I guess so far everything is going swimmingly. Or not so much. It is going to be a long week I think. I wonder who will prevail at the end of the week? Judging from the pictures I would say Mira looks the scariest, Chaya's more a lover than a fighter, but Smoky is someone not to be messed with.

Our Bangalore Home

I have had a few requests in the past for pictures of our home in Bangalore. I found some pics on my computer today that I had taken probably in our first week in the place in November 2006 and was so impressed by how clean and organized it looked before we moved in and mucked it up I thought I would finally post them. Enjoy!
Our Living Room.

Look at our tiny TV!

This is what we now call Mira and Chaya's room (and Mom's when she visits).

This is what is now Eric's office and it is a huge mess compared to what this looks like!

Our bedroom, and I have no idea who Fiza is but we have been sleeping with her blanket for almost 2 years!

Our kitchen, with sink, our only counter space, our stove-top (with gas cylinder) and drinking water. And trust me, don't open the cupboard underneath...

Our nicely organized kitchen shelves (not anymore).

Dining room (and yes, that is our micro-washer).

Shower-head and geyser (micro-water heater).

Our Indian toilet, take a guess as to how to use it!

Naked!

Hi everyone. I have great news! After 10 months and 29 days I am free at last, yesterday I got my braces off! The entire process of first fixing the permanent retainers, braces removal, taking new impressions and photographing the final outcome took about one and a half hours, and my mouth was open at least 85% of the time so I was glad to finally be done. It wasn't really bad at all except for the removal of the glue that held the braces on. The brackets just popped right off but left behind a lot of icky glue that had to be ground off by what sounded and felt like a belt sander. It was pretty uncomfortable and the sound was just as disturbing as fingernails on a blackboard. But once they were polished I was all done and ready to see the final result. My initial impression was, "Are my teeth really that big?" They look huge since then have been mostly hidden by my brackets for almost and year and I feel like it looks as though I have too many teeth in my mouth. But they are straight, REALLY STRAIGHT! My teeth look pretty good naked. I got a chance to look at the impressions that were made just before the braces went on and I was shocked at how crooked they were. Not anymore! I will post some pics soon, maybe even those that the orthodontist took so you can really see the difference (if they aren't too graphic, close-ups of someone's mouth might be a little too much information). I am going to start using the white strips that we brought back from the US this summer tonight so in a couple of weeks my teeth should not only be astoundingly straight, but glitteringly white as well! I am not having any problems with the retainers that were fixed yesterday, I am just glad that they are not visible. The only issue that I have had is that I am lisping a little bit, my S's don't sound the best but hopefully I will be able to adjust to that and for my new and improved smile, it is worth it!

Where there's Smoke(y), there's fire...

I thought I would update everyone on how things are going with our new addition to the family. To sum it up in two words: not great. We had initially kept Smoky separate from Mira and Chaya for about a day and a half and found that Smoky was using the litter with no problem and there wasn't any serious hissing or anything going on so we decided to bring them together when we were at home (we have always kept them separated when we are at work). There has never been any actual fighting but we noticed right away that Chaya was showing a bit too much interest in Smoky. Chaya would just sit and watch her every move and when Smoky would get up and go somewhere else Chaya was not far behind. And when I say not far behind what I mean is that Chaya's nose would be around two inches from Smoky's butt. Smoky has a tendency to randomly break into a dead sprint and this simply induced Chaya to chase, which not surprisingly freaked Smoky out. With Chaya on her tail constantly Smoky has found it difficult to be comfortable enough to use the litter and she started urinating wherever she could. After a couple of days Chaya began to take swipes at Smoky whenever she managed to get close enough. After a couple of swipes and in combination with the litter problem that Smoky was having we decided that we probably needed to separate them again and try to acclimate them to each other more slowly. I have tried to read up on-line on how to address inter-cat aggression and we are trying a method that brings the cats together slowly during feeding and play times in order to try to form positive associations between the warring factions. We now have Smoky completely isolated from Mira and Chaya and we feed them on opposite sides of the same door so that they can hear each other eating. When Eric is at home during the day he lets Smoky have the run of the house and keeps the other girls sequestered in a couple of rooms and then at night we switch them. This is supposed to slowly reduce territoriality. The problems that we have had with this arrangement is that when Smoky has the run of the house she generally does okay with using the litter but she is still having accidents and you have to watch her like a hawk, which is hard to do. Secondly, when Mira and Chaya are out during the night they are constantly scratching and banging at the door to the room that Smoky is in which is irritating as hell to us and is probably very intimidating to poor Smoky. This behavior has been hard to stop as we are trying to sleep and nothing that we have tried seems to work (spraying with a water bottle and scruffing). Last night we shut them in our bedroom and then I had to put up with listening to them scratch and bang at my door trying to get out. Lastly, since we are feeding them at the door we have had to switch from free feeding to scheduled feedings twice a day. Mira and Chaya are not accustomed to this arrangement and I think some of their more recent bad behavior (all of the door banging) may be a result of this. Another problem that this has caused is that Chaya anyway has a tendency to eat too fast and not chew, and with the scheduled feedings she just overdoes it and then ends up puking. Oh, and did I mention that Mira has had horrible diarrhea for about a week and a half? If began two days after we brought Smoky home and we have been having to give her antibiotics twice a day (another fun task) which have not helped a bit. I need to call the vet again and ask what else we can do I but I really feel that she is just making herself sick with all of the stress of Smoky's arrival. I have also been very stressed as a result of all of the discord at home, I was able to fight off one cold sore, but this morning I woke up with another one and I don't have any more of my medicine so I have a feeling I am stuck with this one. We are just about at our wit's end and don't know what to do. I would feel better if I thought that anyone was comfortable with the new living arrangements but I know Eric and I are stressed, Chaya is aggressive, Mira has diarrhea, and Smoky is having daily accidents. So right now things are not good at our house and to make matters even worse it has been raining a lot which of course means that we are having very frequent power outages. Right now I just feel totally overwhelmed, helpless and hopeless. I hope it gets better, I love all three of the girls but the situation as it is right now is unsustainable. We have discussed giving it until late November/early December to improve but if this keeps up I won't be able to make it that long. If anyone has advice or suggestions, we are willing to try about anything at this point. I knew that it could be difficult but I was hoping it wouldn't be and I never imagined that it would be so bad that it would result in physical illness. I just miss the peace and quiet and harmony that we were living in just two weeks ago...

Third Time's a Charm!

Well, I had to write another little post today to celebrate a major accomplishment. I have spoken before about the registration process which I have to go through following arrival into India with a new visa and how painful and frustrating it is. You have to brave the traffic to go to the Police Commissioner's Office, then brave the bureaucracy, then be sent away because you don't have some form that they never even told you that you need in the first place. I have never completed this process in fewer than four trips to the FRO (nor has any other foreigner that I have spoken to about this particular form of torture so it is not just some deficiency on my part, I promise), something is always wrong with my paperwork in some ridiculous way or another and I always leave angry and frustrated. Today was the third time that I have embarked on the registration process and I was hopeful, though not too hopeful lest my spirits be crushed, that I might get registered in the minimum two trips to the FRO after my significant amount of experience. I went armed with more paper than you'll find at a printer's shop and I emerged victorious! I had all of the paperwork that I needed, all of the passport photos that were required, the correct number of copies, and everything filled out correctly (to the disappointment and dismay of the smug government officials who relish turning away inexperienced foreigners). Tomorrow afternoon I can go and pick up my brand-new registration certificate and that will be the last time that I ever have to deal with that horrible, awful place. Hah! Suck it Bangalore Police Commissioner's Office, I WIN!

Up in Smoke

We never intended to expand our family; we have been quite happy with our lives the way they are. But as often happens, fate seems to have a different plan for us. When we picked up Mira and Chaya from Yasmine and JP last week they mentioned a friend of theirs, Pami, was looking for a home for one of her Persian cats. Pami is a breeder of Persians and one of her beauties, Smoky, was having a hard time being accepted by her 17 other cats. Poor Smoky has had a tough life. She was involved in an accident several years ago which nearly led to her death but resulted only in the amputation of one of her hind legs. Due to her disability she was partially spayed, meaning that her uterus was removed but her ovaries were left in order to attempt to prevent excess weight gain that is sometimes associated with sterilization (I and Pami, in hindsight of course, believe that this was a mistake as poor Smoky suffers through her heat, but is unable to conceive). Either due to her disability or her sterilization she is not accepted by Pami's other cats who tease her mercilessly. Smoky was placed in the care of an elderly lady who loved and spoiled her until her own infirmity caused her to relocated to the US, leaving Smoky back in the care of Pami.

After hearing Smoky's story Eric and I made the decision to bring her to our house to try to integrate her into our family with the hopes that Mira and Chaya will be more accepting of Smoky. I was initially worried not only about Mira and Chaya's reaction to Smoky, but of my own. I hoped that I would be able to feel for her what I feel for Mira and Chaya, who have been with us for over a year since they were only four week old kittens. On Saturday we picked up Smoky from Pami and were greeted by a gorgeous grey lady. She kept to herself but seemed friendly enough. We packed her up in a basket and set out for the one hour auto ride home, braced for a long hard ride (Chaya hates travel and wails throughout the trip so we were prepared for the worst). To our surprise, Smoky was quiet as a mouse and sat calmly in the basket until we reached our apartment. She is such a good and sweet girl. We are keeping her separated from the girls and for the first 36 hours we just let them smell and hear each other, but not make visual contact (though there is not much to hear from Smoky except for her purring like a Porche). There has been some hissing and throat growling though the door, but I guess that is to be expected. This morning we made formal introductions which went as well as can be expected, Mira and Chaya were on edge wondering what in the h-ll we are doing to them, slinking around and getting a look at this new creature and Smoky paid them little attention. It was as though she was thinking, "Hey, what's the big deal? I'm here now, it's my house too so get used to it already!" Smoky is a quiet and sweet girl but I am quickly getting the impression that it by no means suggests that she is timid or scared. I am falling for her and her adorable face and constant purring, and I hope that Mira and Chaya do too! Wish us luck because if she is not accepted then we will have to take her back to Pami, and that would just break my heart. Just look at those gorgeous eyes!

Bombs over Bangalore

We returned to Bangalore at around 6 AM on Friday, July 25 after a fantastic three week holiday in the US (see previous post). One of my main priorities upon our return was the collection of our two kitties from our friends JP and Yasmine since I missed them so much and wanted to get them home as soon as possible. We ended up leaving our house at 12 PM to head to their place and as usual, what we thought would be a quick trip there and back ended up instead leading to long visit with them since we always get talking and get wrapped up in conversation and then eating, having tea, etc (not that I am complaining, I love hanging out with these two, they are so fun and interesting it is easy to lose track of time). While we were talking their phone rang and JP answered it to find on the end of the line a friend who had been frantically trying to reach them for the past few hours to no avail. While we were chatting and having a nice afternoon, nine low-intensity bombs had been detonated at seven different sites in Bangalore (all of them quite far from where both we and JP and Yasmine live) resulting in two deaths, twenty injuries and a good deal of panic. Phone networks were immediately jammed resulting in greater panic as loved ones could not be contacted. Even my colleagues were worried as they knew that Eric and I were going to be out and about to pick up the girls but they were not able to reach me either. To its credit, Bangalore reacted much better to this tragedy that I would have expected, I feared that the panic would result in riots and violence, traffic snarls (worse than the already horrible Bangalore traffic) and mayhem. We waited a while after learning of the blasts before venturing out to go home and I was happy to find everything was normal (this is, of course, a relative term). The next day another bomb was found at Forum Mall, the biggest mall in Bangalore (I think) which is just about on the other side of the world from where we live. Sadly, sixteen more bombs were detonated on Saturday in Ahmedabad (a city in the West of India) where so far 49 people have died and nearly 200 are left injured. As far as I know, no one has claimed responsibility for the Bangalore bombing and police have few, if any, leads. Several Indian TV channels have said they had received an e-mail from a terror outfit called Indian Mujahideen claiming responsibility for the bombings in Ahmedabad; however, Islamic militant group Harkat-ul-Jihad-al-Islami has also claimed to be responsible for the attacks. I don't really have much of a commentary on these events, it is just frustrating to see such senseless violence which results in nothing but an opportunity for the politicians to pander and stoke the fires that already burn too brightly.

Practice Makes Perfect

I apologize for the delay since my last post but as most of you probably know Eric and I were in the US for our summer holiday for most of July and we have just returned to Bangalore, landing at the new International Airport in the wee hours of July 25. I won't bore you with how our trip was, we had a wonderful time and always love to come home, there are few things that can spoil a trip to the US for us, not even flooding (which had luckily pretty much receded before we arrived in the Quad Cities) or even a freak storm with wind speeds up to 100 mph which lasted only about 20 minutes but knocked down probably thousands of trees resulting in power outages for much of the Quad Cities and the surrounding areas (this happened on Monday, July 21 at around 5 AM I think). Power, shmower, that's what I say. Living in India has toughened up a little I think, but we were thrilled when Dad hooked up the generator and even managed to get the water back on in time for us to shower before leaving on Wednesday. Anyway, the trip was awesome and we are so grateful to everyone who took the time and effort to see us, we really appreciate it. One positive development that resulted from our trip is that we obtained our last Indian visas (for now at least, hopefully in the future we will be applying for tourist visas, but no more employment visas please!) which expire on July 15, 2009 so that is our deadline for our permanent return to the US (contingent of course on the November presidential elections). Yay! Our trip back to India was uneventful though our flight from London to Bangalore sucked which resulted in me getting maybe 3 hours of total sleep in the entire 24 hour period of travel. This does not help my jet-lag at all, explaining why I am writing a post at 4 AM on a Monday morning. I am going to be hurting later...

One thing that I noticed while we were waiting for our flight in O'Hare is how much easier this gets for us each time (Okay, for me, not us. Eric is his normal controlled stoic self under almost all circumstances except of course for Indian internet customer service). To be clear, it is never easy to leave your home, your friends, you family, your "normal" way of life but it does get less painful. Actually, now that I think of it, I don't really think that it is less painful, but rather the pain is less acute. Last January I cried like a baby when I said good-bye to my Mom and Dad and sat in O'Hare weeping over our imminent departure. This time I shed a couple of tears when I said good-bye but the pain was not as sharp. Maybe it was because I know we will be home again for a visit in just 4 short months, maybe it was because I know that there is only one more set of good-byes to be said before we return permanently next July, maybe it was because I have developed better coping mechanisms. Who knows, but I am grateful that I am able to manage better. Anyway, we are back in our temporary home for one last year, and I am hopeful that the year will be fun and productive, and most of all, that it will go fast!

Overhaulin'

Sorry to leave you all hanging, I hope you haven't spent the last two and a half weeks worrying that my mom has been lost somewhere between Chicago and Bangalore, she actually arrived safely, if not 45 minutes late. And I was stressing every minute. Anyway, she arrived with no problems despite the scenarios that my overactive imagination cooked up, no abduction by agitated soccer hooligans at Heathrow, no kidnapping and subsequent forced arranged marriage at the Bangalore International Airport by some deranged pervert. Nope, none of that, just a boring old trip halfway around the world. Bummer.

Not to worry though, as soon as Mom got here the fun began. Her purpose for this trip was really two-fold; first, to have some dental work, vision consultations and surgeries done and a distant second, to visit Eric and I. On her very first day in India, just four hours after her arrival, we had her first appointment at the dental clinic. She got to experience Bangalore traffic in the back of an autorickshaw which I think is an experience that she will not soon forget, in fact she might have recurring nightmares for the rest of her life. We spent the next week back and forth between home and the dental clinic (and to work for me when I could) having three root canals, one filling, one extraction, gum surgery for crown lengthening and two crowns placed. Whew, it was crazy. She completed her dental work on a Friday at around 6 PM and then next morning we were back at the hospital for her surgeries (during her dental work we had also fit in all of her pre-surgical tests, an ECG, chest X-ray and blood work as well as two meetings with the anesthesiologist). She was in surgery for 8 full hours having a mini face lift and brachioplasty (fancy doctor word for an arm-lift, why say arm-lift when you can sound way smarter by using a word with the suffix -plasty?). The surgeries went well and by Sunday afternoon we were back in an auto bumping our way back home (though bumping gently thanks to a very thoughtful auto driver). Two days later we were back out having a consultation with an eye surgeon to discuss LASIK and lens replacement. Since then we have been ordering new eyeglasses, getting cheap prescriptions and generally rebuilding my Mom. Mom is recovering well and has handled all of this like a pro but I am sure she is ready to get back home and have a vacation from her "vacation". We have had a little time to enjoy ourselves, we went out this week and spent a day shopping and went out to lunch but unfortunately the time has passed so quickly that there hasn't been time for much else. However, like I said her main reason for visiting was medical and dental, and I am very pleased that we managed to get that all taken care of in just the space of under three weeks.

Okay, the million dollar question. Why? For the readers of this blog from the US this question probably doesn't need to be addressed but for any international readers or any Americans who happen to live under a rock or have so much money that medical care isn't a financial worry, let me lay it out as briefly as I can. And please forgive me, this isn't the first time that I have talked about the prohibitive cost of medical care in the US before. Okay, let's begin with the dental treatment, I already mentioned the procedures that were done, and let me also mention that they were performed in probably one of the nicest and most expensive clinics in Bangalore. The total cost in dollars for all of the procedures that I mentioned was around $750, I think that a conservative estimate for the same treatment in the US would be $3000. Even though Mom's insurance would pay 50% of these treatments, she still saved $750. Okay, now for the surgeries, in the US the fact-lift would run anywhere from $3500-$6500 and the brachioplasty would be anywhere from $4000-6500. Mom paid $3000 here in Bangalore for both together and since insurance companies in the US won't cover these "cosmetic" procedures at all meaning that she would be responsible for footing the entire bill she saved at least another $4500. Her complete eye exam and consultation with the eye surgeon, $20. That would probably run you $200 in the States. For her eyeglasses she paid around $150 here in India for the best lenses that money can buy and saved around another $300. We stopped at the pharmacy yesterday and picked up some prescriptions that she and Dad take for high cholesterol, restless leg, acid reflux, etc. and saved another $350 on a 3 month supply of these meds (that is taking into account the 80% that insurance pays for the prescriptions, if they didn't have insurance covering this portion of their drugs they could save around $1650). Grand total saved by coming to India, over $6000 (this is a conservative estimate). Considering the cost of her ticket was around $1700 I think that it was a good decision for her to come here. Plus, she got the opportunity to visit with us and have an opportunity to travel abroad and see how the world is outside of the Quad Cities. It has been a crazy two and a half weeks but it has been great to have Mom around and I think that she is generally pleased at how it all turned out. In fact, she is making plans to continue the overhaul in January so I guess it wasn't so bad. Her visit is nearly up which means that it is only a few more days before we are homeward bound for a three week holiday in the US, and after the craziness of the last couple of weeks, we could sure use a holiday!

Where in the world is Zelma Ziegenhorn?

I remember when I was in college and even for years after I had graduated from college, after wrapping up a trip to visit my parents they would always ask me to give them a call when I arrived back home, just to let them know that I arrived safely.  I thought that they were being silly, didn't they realize that I am an adult and that they don't need to worry about me, it's just a three hour drive, no big deal. And because I thought that they were overreacting and being so silly, I usually forgot to make that call.  I am a horrible daughter.

Now I think that I am beginning to know how they felt, and I am sure how they probably still feel to this day.  My mom (Zelma, the one from the title) is currently somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean on her way to visit us here in Bangalore and I am terrified.  I sat bolt upright in bed this morning at 5 AM and since then I have been  continuously trying to calculate the time differences between India and the US, then India and London (where she has a connection) and stressing all the while hoping that everything is going well for her.  I know logically that she is a grown woman who managed to raise 8 kids and that she is no dummy, she'll be just fine, I should relax.  But my heart is shouting that I should be with her to help, she hasn't travelled often and she has never left the US, let alone gone half-way around the world and I just can't convince myself to stop worrying.  I have spent most of the day near my computer so that I can check e-mails and monitor her flight progress, I know that the plane took off from Chicago eleven minutes late and that it is supposed to land in twenty six minutes, just six minutes late.  I have calculated that she will have 3 hours and 44 minutes to make her way to the new terminal in London, Terminal 5, the terminal that had its disastrous opening in March.  I then stress for a few minutes wondering if they have all of the kinks worked out and will she make it to the terminal okay.

Seven minutes until she lands now (sorry, I had to run off and do some work).  Have I prepared her for immigration and customs in Bangalore sufficiently?  I forgot to go through that with her and had to write an e-mail the day before she left trying to detail the process, did I forget something?  But why am I so worried, she is a smart lady who can figure these things out on her own.  Now I understand, you worry because you are powerless, you have tried to inform and give all of the help that you can and then you have to just trust that everything will work out, that it will all be fine in the end and that all of the worrying was for nothing.  But you worry really because you love.  Can you love someone and not worry about their safety, their happiness, their well-being, even when it is out of your control?  I don't see how, and I have no idea how my parents have managed to keep sane when they have 8 kids and now 7 grandkids to worry about.

Yay, she's landed safely in London (at least according to British Airway's web-site and assuming that she made it on the plane in Chicago to begin with, oh God, now I have something else to stress about)!!!  Onto Terminal 5 Mom, Bangalore dead ahead!

What's in a name?

Hi all. I noticed a few weeks ago that Blogger has this cool new function that allow users to transliterate in several Indian languages. Transliteration is not the same as translation, but what it means is rather that you can type something phonetically in English script and the Roman characters are substituted with characters from some other language (say Hindi for instance) that have the same sound (or at least as close an approximation as possible). But again, it isn't a translation. For example the name of one of our cats is Chaya which is the Hindi word for shade (actually the proper spelling is probably something more like Chhaaya but that seems like WAY too many double letters for my taste). So transliteration of shade is शेड while transliteration of Chhaaya, the translation of shade, is छाया. Pretty cool, huh?

I am not sure if I have mentioned much before about the Indian languages on this blog so here is a quick primer. The Constitution of India recognises 22 languages, spoken in different parts the country, namely Assamese, Bengali, Bodo, Dogri, Gujarati, Hindi, Kannada, Kashmiri, Konkani, Maithili, Malayalam, Santali, Marathi, Nepali, Oriya, Punjabi, Sanskrit, Santhali, Sindhi, Tamil, Telugu, and Urdu. Just to give you a bit of context, India only has 28 states (and 7 territories) so that breaks down to just about one language per state (give or take). Hindi is recognized as the official language of the central government but in some states in the south of India (most notably Tamil Nadu) Hindi is not taught in schools and thus a large number of South Indians do not speak Hindi but instead speak the local language. In Karnataka, the state in which Bangalore is situated, most regular folks speak the local language, Kannada and often maybe just a few words of Hindi and probably even more words in English. I feel in the South you are better off knowing English than Hindi if you want to communicate with the locals.

There are a couple of points that resonate with me when considering the effects of having so many languages in a single country. The first is that I am utterly amazed at and in awe of the capacity for language among the Indians. I have yet to meet an Indian who is not at least bilingual. And I mean truly bilingual, perfectly fluent in at least two languages. This consistently makes me feel like a total idiot, I luckily can manage English pretty well and I can put together a bit of Spanish from my four years that I had in high school (but that was between 18-14 years ago, my god, is that right? Yikes!). The truly humbling thing though is that for many, many people here two languages is nothing. A girl in my lab speaks English, Hindi, Tamil, Oriya and Malayalam all fluently and if memory serves she can manage pretty well in several of others (hey Gayatri!). The thing that is truly impressive about this is that these languages are all unrelated with different alphabets and no actual similarity to one another so it is not like learning one helps you to learn any of the others. The second point that I think is worth mentioning in regards to the many languages of India is not so positive and has to do with the inability of people from the same country to communicate with one another. This is something that we, as Americans, take for granted. Certainly there is a population of non-English speakers in the US but it is very small (I can't find any numbers that I trust to support this, everything that I find on the web is from crazies who want to "defend and protect English" as if there is some war on English. Hello dummies, English isn't in danger, it is actually endangering thousands of indigenous languages because like an invasive species it moves into communities and takes over, strangling the native languages, just ask the Native Americans and the Inuits (Eskimos) to name a few). Sorry tangent, couldn't help myself. Give me a break, it's 5 in the morning and I can't sleep so I should be given a bit of latitude I think. Anyway, the point that I was trying to make before I got distracted was that it is almost impossible for me to image not being able to communicate with someone from say, Colorado because we speak different languages. Even worse, since I grew up on the Illinois/Iowa border, would I not be able to understand the Iowegians or have to learn their language in order to communicate with them? Okay, in fairness I do have a hard time communicating with and understanding the Iowegians as it is, after all, they are from IOWA (sorry Mom and the Kreinbrings, couldn't help myself). A friend of mine from work visited the US just about two years ago (hi Neha). She is from the North of India and speaks Hindi and English and has been transplanted here in Bangalore for the past several years while in grad school. She told me the story of her visit to the US and how it struck her that while she was there, maybe for the first time in her life, she could understand ALL of the conversations that were going on around her because they were all in English. She had to leave her country to understand and be understood by everyone. Very strange. Anyway, I thought that I would leave you with a little bit of transliteration in some of the Indian languages so you can at least get a look at the differences. Enjoy!

Hindi
Suzi सूजी
Eric एरिक
Kannada
Suzi ಸೂಜಿ
Eric ಎರಿಕ್
Tamil
Suzi சுசி
Eric ஏறிக்
Malayalam
Suzi സുജി
Eric എറിക്

Monsoon!

The monsoon rains are a welcome event after the summer that we have had. I have already complained enough about April and was able to keep my mouth shut through all of May for fear that you all would get sick of my whining (though the temps were above 90 F 21 days of the month) but for the last two weeks, the rains have come and brought with them mild days and cool nights. When I say the the rains have come for the last two weeks I should clarify and explain that they have come every single day for the past two weeks. You can almost set your watch to them, the mornings are cool and clear, around lunchtime the sky is a bright blue with a few puffy white clouds, but in the late afternoon dark clouds chase away the puffy ones and the skies open up. According to the weathermen here the monsoon officially began on June 1, though how they arrive at this date is beyond me. I don't have a lot of faith in meteorologists so I don't even bother to try to understand how they do their predictions, etc. I figure that it is probably equivalent to reading tea leaves or something of the sort...

Anyway, back to the monsoon. I am usually pretty lucky that I don't often get stuck walking in the rain, it often wraps up before I leave work in the early evening or holds off until I get home from the gym a couple of hours later. I am not always so lucky though and walking in the rain isn't exactly for the faint of heart. In fact, walking here at all is a fairly dangerous and nerve-wracking activity and the addition of flooded streets, overflowing sewers, drivers aiming to drench you with the nearest mud-puddle and pelting rain just adds to the excitement. I have to say though, I never experienced such a sense of accomplishment at just getting home as I have here in India. It is like being on American Gladiators each and every night except that instead of facing 'roided up opponents you instead have to take on vehicles, animals, the elements, the crumbling infrastructure, and the Travelator equivalent, the locals. All of this makes Helga look like a sissy, and if you can make your way down and across the streets every night, you are truly a champion. Some days I make it, and other days I have to admit that I suffer the agony of defeat. I have been hit by at least 2 motorcycles (okay, really just bumped, but still), I am accosted by strangers wanting either money, to talk, or god knows what, I have stubbed my toe so badly that it poured blood, I have tripped more times than imaginable, dodged more autorickshaws than I can stand and a few weeks ago I fell into a ditch while trying to side-step a mud-puddle. Luckily I landed on my feet but it was pretty embarrassing crawling out nonetheless.

On Saturday evening we experienced probably the most impressive rain shower that I have ever seen. I guess a shower isn't really an appropriate term, more like rain torrent. It was crazy and the rain came down in a way that I have never experienced. I was sure that the water was going to flood into our apartment because it just couldn't drain off of our balcony fast enough (we even have 2 drains). Lucky for us though, no flooding, just a power outage from around 5:30 PM until 9:30 PM. Despite the new set of problems brought on by the arrival of the monsoon, I will take it over the long hot days of summer anytime!

Paranoia

I just thought that I would include an addendum to my last post as it has kicked up a fair number of paranoid delusions among former students in the GH lab who are now afraid that the senior members felt similar disgust and disappointment toward them (ahem, Shantala and Rashmi). Take it easy you guys, if we thought you were idiots or didn't like you believe me, you would know it.

The Donald

One of the responsibilities of a graduate student, post-doc or PI is that of mentoring and training new students. It is a valuable and important part of a scientist's training that they not just be able to plan out and perform experiments, but that they should also be able to teach the art to others. If after all a scientist can't explain his work to anyone, what is the use of having done even a single experiment? I feel that knowledge is really only valuable if it is shared, if you found the cure for cancer but never bothered to tell anyone then who cares?

I have, to date, directly mentored nine students and have had a couple of great experiences, many good ones, and a couple of bad ones. But I have never had a horrible, heart-wrenching, pull-your-hair-out, drive-you-to drink one. Until now, that is. Just over two weeks ago a new student joined the lab and was I was tasked with giving her a project and supervising her while she was here, we will call her Abhira. When Abhira arrived in lab I immediately sat down with her and explained to her that I was not familiar with her educational background so if I was going either too fast or too slow in explaining her projects she should not be afraid to tell me and I would make adjustments accordingly. I have found that this disclaimer is important to give as most students are embarrassed to admit that they aren't following so I try to put them at ease right away and tell them that when I first joined a lab I didn't know a petrie plate from a Pasteur pipette so they have no reason to be afraid to ask me anything (though I do of course assume a basic knowledge of biology, like the difference between proteins, DNA, etc.). So after spending quite a bit of time with Abhira on her first day she assured me several times that she understood what I was explaining and that she was comfortable enough to get to work with the flies that I had got started for her and had been collecting for about 2 weeks. Her first task: take the flies from old vials, transfer them into new vials with fresh fly food and return the vials to the rack exactly as they were. I left her to this very simple task and when I checked in on her some time later I found that she was not putting the tubes back in the rack in the proper order and everything was all mixed up which meant that I had to discard around 40% of the flies that I had spent the last 2 weeks collecting and caring for. Aughhhhh! I was very cool and calm and explained to her that she clearly hadn't understood what I had told her so in the future if she has any doubts she should just ask me and I would be happy to clarify. I gave her several pertinent journal articles and a book on fly husbandry and genetics and asked that she do the reading to get up to speed and also continue practicing a technique that I had taught her that would be required for her experiments. A few days later I sat down with Abhira again to discuss her project only to discover that she either hadn't read or comprehended anything that I had given her. She insisted that she had in fact read and understood all of it, but after quizzing her briefly I found that this couldn't possibly be the case. When I asked her what type of experiments were done in one of the papers which she swore she read and understood she told me that they did blah, blah and blah in flies. I told her that couldn't be true as the researchers who published this article don't even use flies in their experiments. Lied to yet again. I asked her to describe to me each of her three projects that she was working on in lab and she couldn't even cover one. And when I asked her to tell me the genotypes of her flies she not only couldn't tell me what, for sure, they were, but she would actually make things up, I guess hoping that I also wouldn't know what I had given her! Additionally, when she was stumped, instead of saying she wasn't sure or didn't know she would just sit there silently and stare at the paper as if the answer would magically appear on it if only she could stare at it long or intently enough. I thought to myself that I would just sit there and see how long she could silently stare at the paper before simply saying, "I don't know" but I got bored after a couple of minutes and had to speak up. Aughhhhhh! So after this disastrous meeting I told her that she had the entire weekend to read up as I had already told her to do and on Monday or Tuesday we would meet with the head honcho Gaiti (I had privately met with Gaiti and told her of my difficulties with this student and asked that she provide a second opinion in case I was being overly critical or something). On Tuesday we met and let's just say that it didn't go well. Abhira continued to be absolutely clueless and make up answers if she wasn't sure, for instance, "What chromosome is blah blah, blah on?" "Ughhh (complete blank and desperate look), it is on chromosome 2." "No, it is on the X chromosome." Why not just say I don't know??? Complete and utter torture. I submit that the CIA should incorporate Abhira into any techniques that might be used on suspects in place of water-boarding and other unethical means of acquiring information. Speaking with her has to be worse. Anyway, Gaiti and I again met privately and she suggested that Abhira stay just until the end of the week and continue to practice the technique that I had taught her and perhaps by Friday she might be able to look at a couple of experimental flies instead of just practicing. She, however, misunderstood that she was being dismissed due to her dishonesty and incompetence and thought instead that Gaiti asked her to leave because there wasn't enough time to actually finish her experiments. I decided that she needed to be set straight on this so I met with her yesterday afternoon and explained to her that she had to leave because she had continually lied to me about her understanding and I wouldn't work with someone that I couldn't trust. I also told her that I believed that she didn't understand basic biological concepts because she was unable to grasp very simple things that I was trying to teach her. She was shocked by this and stated that she didn't feel she was lying and since she hadn't worked with a foreigner before maybe that was the reason for the problems that we were having. This is, of course, horse crap since none of the Indian students I know would accept someone lying to them either, and I told her so. But I assured her that it is okay, this was a learning experience for her and that I was sure that she wouldn't make the mistake again and to not get too upset by the situation. I then went on to give her some advice on how she might improve on the technique that she had been practicing and we went back to lab. She then proceeded to completely ignore the advice that I had given to her and do what she thought was best. Nice. I again scolded her and after following my advice things her technique improved a bit. Did I mention that I started having a drink every night when I arrived home to try to relax and get her dullness out of my head?

This morning she arrived and spoke to me again and said she was feeling very bad about all that had happened and I told her it was okay, don't dwell on it, just learn from it and don't repeat the mistake in the future. About an hour later she approached me and told me that she had just used the technique that she had been practicing on MY experimental flies and she was ready to look at them under the microscope. WHAT!!! I asked who had given her permission to take my flies, I had certainly not given her the green light to proceed as I felt she wasn't ready to do the experiment yet. She stammered that she just thought that it would be alright, blah, blah, blah. I asked her to show me which flies she had used and found that she had again screwed things up royally since she didn't bother to think about what it was that she was doing. That was the last straw. Stealing my flies and then screwing it up on top of it all. I told her that she had to leave, there was a bus departing the campus in 45 minutes and she needed to be on it, I was done dealing with her. In the words of The Donald, "You're fired." She stood there looking at me like a stupid cow, with vacant thoughtless eyes and I was so disgusted that I just walked away. She followed me and asked that if she did exactly as I said could she stay and I told her no way, get out, it's done. I have never been so frustrated and troubled by a student and though I am relieved that she is gone, I also feel confused and unsure. Could I have done anything more? Is this my fault in some way? I don't think so but it is still hard to not feel bad about the entire situation. How can The Donald do this so regularly and not feel badly about it? Maybe if I had a couple of billion bucks and really bad hair I would feel better...

The roller-coaster that is our lives...

Hello all. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Three posts in one day? Why doesn't this girl get off of her butt and do some work?" Well, the truth is I don't feel like it, I am in too good a mood to spoil it with experiments and bench work that just haven't been cooperating recently. So why I am in such a good mood today? Well, to explain that I need to go back about three weeks. That was when Eric and I made the difficult decision that when we returned to the US in July, for Eric it was not going to be a visit, but rather a permanent move back to to the US while I would return to India at the end of July in order to complete the last year of my fellowship. This was a decision that was a long time in the making but the situation in Eric's group at Motorola was such that his return to the US seemed necessary in order for him to position himself in the company so that he had more flexibility than he has while he is in India. It is complicated and I don't even understand all of the intricacies but regardless of all of that, we decided that he would leave India permanently. This was a tremendously difficult decision for obvious reasons, who wants to spend a year away from their spouse, especially when your spouse is situated 5,000 miles and eleven and a half time zones away? But it was difficult for logistical reasons also, where would Eric live, would it be safe for me to continue to live in our apartment without Eric's presence, what would we do with the cats if I had to move, how would I manage to do everything that needs to be done without Eric's help, would Eric manage find something other than fast food or cereal for his meals, who would I bore to death with my endless chatter, would we see each other just once in the entire year, how do you file taxes in our situation, what about our finances, etc? But mostly, after more than 12 years together, how could we be apart? Most of you didn't know either Eric or me before we were a couple. We as a couple pre-date nearly all of our closest friends (except Eric's St. Mark's chums), Eric and I met just maybe a month after I met my closest friends from college. My oldest nieces and nephews are unaware that there was ever a time B.E. (before Eric). Our lives are so intertwined, it is difficult to imagine how they could ever be separated. I am sure any of you who have been in such a long relationship (and I am sure many of you have even longer marriages) would have difficulty imagining how you would be able to maintain two households in two different countries literally on opposite sides of the globe while retaining your sanity and any quality of life. The last three weeks have been both heart-breaking and scary as both of us started to get used to the idea of this separation and began to make arrangements to deal with the situation.

So why the good mood then? Well, yesterday Eric received word from his supervisor that it was fine for him to remain in India, at least for a while longer and he needn't plan on remaining in the States in July. When he shared this news with me last night I was just in a state of shock. Though it had only been 3 weeks since we made the decision for him to stay in the US, I had spent a lot of time imagining life without him here. We had made a number of arrangements to prepare for his departure, I had applied for alternate housing, had booked a single ticket for my return to India at the end of July, we had closed our joint savings account here in India, we had spoken to our landlord about Eric's departure, etc. And now everything has changed again, for the better of course, but I feel as if I am on a run-away roller-coaster, and I am blindfolded. The news is naturally great for me, there is no downside. But for Eric, who has sometimes struggled to find happiness in India, it is more of a mixed bag. On one hand he is happy that we won't have to be apart for the year and we don't have to make plans for his and my living arrangements but on the other he had already begun to imagine life back in the US. While I was fretting about how I could manage without him in India he was dreaming of Whoppers, fried chicken, orderly roads, quiet streets and at least reasonable infrastructure. Any one of those things would be a decent substitute for a measly old wife, so you can probably understand his quandary. Regardless, he is coming back to India with me and I booked his ticket right away before he could change his mind!