Indian Shower

No, not rain shower, not the kind that involves shampoo and soap, but the kind that we in the US give to celebrate big events like marriages and births. As far as I can tell, what has been come to be known as the modern baby shower is a purely American invention. When I mentioned to my French friend that we were throwing a shower for my friend and colleague Debleena he looked at me like I was crazy. Even after I explained the concept of a shower he still didn't think that there was an equivalent, at least in France. Then again though, this is the same fellow who, when I mentioned that we were having this party for Debleena looked at me and said, "Oh, she's pregnant?". By that time she was at least in her 7th month and it was pretty obvious that something was brewing beneath her kurta. He explained his ignorance by pointing out to me that he had to change the way in which he looked at Indian women, ONLY in the face. But that's a post for another day... Not surprisingly the baby shower is also unheard of in India (at least in most of India). There are some ceremonies that are held prior to the birth of the baby, mostly for the purpose of ensuring the health of the mother and the fetus. One of the most common is the valaikappu, also known as the bangle ceremony, a Hindu ritual for a mother-to-be. It is usually held in the 7th or 9th month of pregnancy and is a time when family and friends gather to convey their best wishes to the soon-to-be mom and dad. Usually the big difference between the American baby shower and almost all Indian pre-birth rituals is that it is considered unlucky to give gifts to the baby before its birth so any gifts presented in Indian rituals are for the mother-to-be.

When I presented the idea of a baby shower to Debleena and explained what it is she was happy to be the guest of honor and didn't mind receiving gifts for the baby before its birth. So last Saturday a small group of us gathered and had our own littler version of a baby shower here in Bangalore. We had gone shopping for gifts for the baby and after a nice lunch watched as Debleena opened up her first gifts for her new addition. Since it is considered bad luck to get things for the baby before the baby is born, she and her husband didn't have a single thing for their new charge. No clothes, no diapers, no car seat, no bottles, NOTHING! This is something that I find so strange, but it is the way of life here. In fact, when we went to pick out things for the baby at the shop the salespeople were slightly confused when we couldn't tell them that we didn't know the sex of the baby that we were shopping for. As far as they were concerned, if we were shopping for a baby, then the baby must already be born! The shower was good fun and Debleena received a few gifts that will hopefully come in handy in June when the baby is due. Congratulations Debleena!

Isn't Debleena too cute?

Oooooohhh, tiny fingernail clippers are so sweet!

GH lab ladies gathered to wish Debleena all the best (from left to right: Neha, Shantala, Debleena, Nisha, me, Gayatri and Mamta)!

What a cute little shirt for the new baby!

What could they all be??