The roller-coaster that is our lives...

Hello all. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Three posts in one day? Why doesn't this girl get off of her butt and do some work?" Well, the truth is I don't feel like it, I am in too good a mood to spoil it with experiments and bench work that just haven't been cooperating recently. So why I am in such a good mood today? Well, to explain that I need to go back about three weeks. That was when Eric and I made the difficult decision that when we returned to the US in July, for Eric it was not going to be a visit, but rather a permanent move back to to the US while I would return to India at the end of July in order to complete the last year of my fellowship. This was a decision that was a long time in the making but the situation in Eric's group at Motorola was such that his return to the US seemed necessary in order for him to position himself in the company so that he had more flexibility than he has while he is in India. It is complicated and I don't even understand all of the intricacies but regardless of all of that, we decided that he would leave India permanently. This was a tremendously difficult decision for obvious reasons, who wants to spend a year away from their spouse, especially when your spouse is situated 5,000 miles and eleven and a half time zones away? But it was difficult for logistical reasons also, where would Eric live, would it be safe for me to continue to live in our apartment without Eric's presence, what would we do with the cats if I had to move, how would I manage to do everything that needs to be done without Eric's help, would Eric manage find something other than fast food or cereal for his meals, who would I bore to death with my endless chatter, would we see each other just once in the entire year, how do you file taxes in our situation, what about our finances, etc? But mostly, after more than 12 years together, how could we be apart? Most of you didn't know either Eric or me before we were a couple. We as a couple pre-date nearly all of our closest friends (except Eric's St. Mark's chums), Eric and I met just maybe a month after I met my closest friends from college. My oldest nieces and nephews are unaware that there was ever a time B.E. (before Eric). Our lives are so intertwined, it is difficult to imagine how they could ever be separated. I am sure any of you who have been in such a long relationship (and I am sure many of you have even longer marriages) would have difficulty imagining how you would be able to maintain two households in two different countries literally on opposite sides of the globe while retaining your sanity and any quality of life. The last three weeks have been both heart-breaking and scary as both of us started to get used to the idea of this separation and began to make arrangements to deal with the situation.

So why the good mood then? Well, yesterday Eric received word from his supervisor that it was fine for him to remain in India, at least for a while longer and he needn't plan on remaining in the States in July. When he shared this news with me last night I was just in a state of shock. Though it had only been 3 weeks since we made the decision for him to stay in the US, I had spent a lot of time imagining life without him here. We had made a number of arrangements to prepare for his departure, I had applied for alternate housing, had booked a single ticket for my return to India at the end of July, we had closed our joint savings account here in India, we had spoken to our landlord about Eric's departure, etc. And now everything has changed again, for the better of course, but I feel as if I am on a run-away roller-coaster, and I am blindfolded. The news is naturally great for me, there is no downside. But for Eric, who has sometimes struggled to find happiness in India, it is more of a mixed bag. On one hand he is happy that we won't have to be apart for the year and we don't have to make plans for his and my living arrangements but on the other he had already begun to imagine life back in the US. While I was fretting about how I could manage without him in India he was dreaming of Whoppers, fried chicken, orderly roads, quiet streets and at least reasonable infrastructure. Any one of those things would be a decent substitute for a measly old wife, so you can probably understand his quandary. Regardless, he is coming back to India with me and I booked his ticket right away before he could change his mind!