Three Years Later

We didn’t plan it this way; we couldn’t have if we tried. We moved to India on November 2, 2006 with dreams of a great adventure and hopes that we might make a better future for ourselves through the opportunity of living overseas. We gave up a lot to do that, we sacrificed two years and eight months away from our friends and family, we gave up our home and all of our material possessions, we dove headfirst into an unknown and foreign culture and left the familiar half a world away. We also put our loved ones through a lot during that time, we knew that the experience would not only be hard on us, but may even be tougher for those we were leaving behind as we were sure they would always worry about us.

Looking back over our time in India I am so glad that we had the experience and that we took the chance that we did. We made some wonderful friends that will be always be integral parts of our lives; we had some great adventures and saw some beautiful places. But it was never easy, it was never HOME and I could never be comfortable. As they say, I was a stranger in a strange land and there was no real place for us there, we just didn’t fit. Our values, morals and humanity didn’t match up well with the rest of the culture. To be sure, there were exceptions to the rule and we made some like-minded friends, but for the most part we found it difficult to fit in. Forget that, it was impossible to fit in and even if we lived in India for 50 years it wouldn’t change that fact that we were foreigners and would never be anything else. Because of that leaving was easy. I was most sad to leave the beautiful street dogs that I had grown to love and I still think of them often and hope that they are healthy, happy and loved. It was difficult to say good-bye to my friends but I was comforted to know that they are never more than an email away. It was also hard to be too sad as though I was leaving some friends, I was also returning to friends and family that we were looking forward to reconnecting with.

Now we’re home and have been for a few short months. But those months have been so busy, we have begun to catch up with those that we missed so desperately for so long and we have tried to settle down into a routine and remind ourselves that we are back for good. Despite the bad economic situation I was able to find a part-time teaching position just weeks after returning and have enjoyed the beginning of a new career away from the research bench. Eric has settled back into his job and our Mira and Chaya have adjusted well to their new adoptive country. We are happy, happy that we have had the opportunities that took us to India, and happy that we are now home. And exactly three years after arriving in India we have finally truly come home as we bought our new house today, a place that we hope to stay and grow and make many memories.

There really is no place like home.

Himalaya Trek

SarPass
When we moved to India more than 2 and a half years ago I had a goal of seeing two of India's wonders: the Taj Mahal and the Himalayas. Eric and I made it to Agra and the Taj on our anniversary last year and when Eric was called back to the US for work I thought that my hopes to see the Himalayas were dashed. However, my colleagues knew of my hopes and three of us managed to make arrangements to trek through the Himalayas in Himachal Pradesh beginning on May 31. I began the trip with a flight from Bangalore to Chennai where I met up with my friend Aditya. The next morning we caught a train from Chennai and a mere 28 hours later we were in Delhi. We then met up with Neha, another friend, and caught the overnight bus that would take us to Bunthar, Himachal. This bus ride was pretty interesting as we were in a big fancy Volvo bus which was FLYING up the twisty turny mountain road. We then got out at Bunthar and had to catch a local bus to our base camp at Kasol. And then I found out how very nice and calm the Volvo bus ride really was. The local bus was a rickety bus that had to be as old as mes with brakes that sounded oven older than that. The bus hurtled up the mountain, making blind turns on a road that was in places only one lane and the bus was so close to the edge of the road that I was certain that we were going to tumble down the side of the mountain into the river in the valley below. I thought I was going to barf. This feeling of terror and disorientation was compounded by the fact that the buss was packed (people were also riding on top of the bus since it was so full) and the radio was blaring spastic Hindi music. By some miracle we did not die and in fact made it base camp without any hurling on my part. I am going to skip any description of base camp where we spent the next 2 days because it sucked and I choose not to dwell on the negative. The actual trek is a little hard to describe, it was hard work but the scenery was breathtaking and wanting to know what lay ahead propelled you forward even if you were exhausted. Lots of people got sick, either from the water (we were drinking from Himalayan streams) or more likely from exhaustion. We were sleeping 13 women in one smelly dirty tent but I was so tired that I usually had no trouble sleeping (except you would every once in a while wake up to find that you were sliding out of the tent). I guess what I am trying to convey is that it was miserable but wonderful. It was certainly one of the most challenging things that I have ever done, both mentally and physically. I think that I will let some pics tell the story that I could never do justice to.
Base camp in Kasol
Chilling on the banks of the Parvati River near base camp
The start of the trek.
The waterfall where we had our last bath for around 7 days.
Wow, what a view.
Neha and I on the way to SarPass (yes, Neha is in there somewhere).
What up.
Me killing it at cricket. That's right, cricket.
Amazing.
My shoes were toast after the second day, thank god the shoelace that I used to hold the sole on held.

Gayatri's Engagement

Gayatri and Siddharth

Ever since arriving in India two and a half years ago I have been awaiting the opportunity to wear the most beautiful yet simple garment ever created (in my humble opinion); the Indian sari. My chance finally arrived yesterday as my friend and colleague Gayatri had her engagement ceremony, or Nichayathartham in Chennai. I along with several other friends and colleagues made the journey to Chennai by train early Wednesday morning (that is a story in itself, we made the train with literally only four minutes to spare by sprinting through the railway station at a little before 6AM). Nisha, a friend and colleague is originally from Chennai and offered her parents' home as a place for us to get cleaned and ready up after our 5 hour train journey. Luckily Nisha's mother is an expert sari-draper and agreed to help Neha (another friend and colleague) tie our saris. So we all got ready and headed to the ceremony in the sweltering Chennai afternoon.

The function was held in a small un-airconditioned hall and unfortunately I couldn't see much of the rituals that were taking place on a small platform at the front of the room. There is a good deal of gift exhange between the families and it is customary for the bride's parents to give the future groom an outfit that he has to change into and the bride-to-be receives a new sari from the groom's parents which she also changes into partway through the ceremony. There are a number of blessings given and received, a ring exchange, some singing, throwing rice, flowers exchanged, etc. Pretty cool overall. Plus it gave us all a chance to dress up and look pretty. I just loved wearing my sari and hated to take it off at the end of the night (even though I was melting in the heat), but alas, I had to. Now I am just waiting for the next opportunity to wear a sari again (I have a second sari that has never been worn and some other things that I am just itching to wear) so if you know of any good parties or functions just let me know!
My beautiful sari

Gayatri's 1st sari and Swarna

Joke's on Mani!

Gayatri's 2nd sari

The lab is looking good!

Perfect Pair

I love wearing saris!

99 DAYS UNTIL I MOVE HOME!!!

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Okay, another update on my police case. I got a call Saturday morning from the police saying that they had the guys who hit me at the station and would it be possible for me to come in. I had plans with a friend for the day and I was in fact just leaving to meet her when they called so I told them that no, I couldn't come to the station that day but I could meet them on Sunday. I then continued on to meet my friend but found that she was going to meet me around 30 minutes later than we had anticipated so I went to visit with my dogs, Ram and Leo, who stay at the site that I was attacked. I was feeding them their biscuits and petting them when a police vehicle pulled up to the gate and the Sub-Inspector who took my complaint stepped out with the man who was the passenger in the car that hit me and several other policemen. I guess the police had decided to take the guys to the scene and ask them to describe what had happened, but they got a big surprise when they found me there! I described to the Sub-Inspector what had happened and he asked me if the guy with him was the driver. I told him that no, that guy was the passenger of the car, the driver was a bigger guy with a round face. He sent another policeman to the vehicle and he brought back another guy, the driver! I have been very worried since the incident happened that I might not recognize the culprits, it has been more than a month since it happened and I saw them for just a couple of seconds, but when I saw the driver I knew it was him. No sooner than I said that he was the driver the policemen started beating the two guys, punching them and slapping them and screaming at them in Kannada. A small crowd had already gathered to see what the police were doing and once the beating commenced all hell broke loose; the crowd swelled, Ram freaked out and started barking his head off (he is a great guard dog) and poor little Leo started yipping and running around so then I stared to run after him to catch him and calm him so that he didn't run into the street. After the police finished with their beating they hustled the men back into the police vehicle. I asked the Sub-Inspector if the men had admitted to when they had done and if they had given any sort of explanation for their actions. The Sub-Inspector asked if I would like to ask the driver directly and I said yes so he was brought from the car to face me. I began to yell at the driver asking him why he had done it, what was he thinking, what the hell! I don't think he speaks any English, or if he does he didn't that day, he just kept bowing and apologizing. A guy stepped in to translate and told me that he was saying he was sorry, he had been scared, blah, blah, blah. I told him that sorry is fine, but sorry doesn't change what he had done and how it has affected me. Sorry doesn't make me feel safe as I walk down the street or put me at ease in my own home. I also told him the scared bit is nonsense, yes they probably drove away because they were scared, but they did not hit me because they were scared. Unless two grown men in a car are afraid of a 130 pound unarmed woman. Ridiculous. I never got a suitable answer and the police asked what I wanted them to do and I told them that the men deserved to be punished for their crime so they were taken to the police station.

After all of this had taken place I packed up my things (my dog feeding paraphernalia) and went to leave as I was likely keeping my friend waiting (remember, I had plans to meet before this encounter occurred) but I first stopped to thank the translator who had jumped in to help. I found out that he is actually the owner of the car who hit me, the man who was driving was his hired driver, he had taken the car that day for service on my street and was making his way back when he decided to take some time to hit me. Apparently when the driver arrived back after hitting me he was flustered and upset and told his employer that he needed to go and couldn't drive the rest of the day. The employer knew nothing of the attack until the police traced the car back to him and informed him of the crime. Before I was able to go to meet my friend he started to ask me if I could drop the charges because the driver is poor and the police will beat him, etc. He caught me again after I had met my friend and again asked if I could call the police and drop the charges. I told him that I would call the police if he wants and ask them not to beat the men, but that I couldn't just let the attack go unpunished by the law.

Since the attack happened I have imagined in my mind what I would like to do to these guys, how I would like to knee them in the groin, stomp on their fingers and break every single one, elbow them in the face and make blood pour from their noses, but seeing them again on Saturday changed all of that. Once they were out of their car and in front of me they were transformed from powerful bullies that I feared to scared cowards that I pity. They looked terrified, as well they should be since the police certainly have no problems with beating them senseless. If they are happy to pound on them in public I can only imagine what they do once they get them back to the station. And I do feel badly about that, but police brutality isn't a secret around here and I would think that if one wanted to avoid it then once shouldn't go around committing crimes. Though I do pity them and I told the owner of the car as much, I also believe that they should be punished according to the law. Maybe they are scared enough already that they will never do something like this again but I feel that they have earned their punishment. But I have to admit that though I am not at all comfortable with the beating that they guys received, I at least know that some form of punishment was given as I saw it with my own two eyes. Even if one can perhaps not on the courts in India, the police can be counted on to dole out beatings quite liberally. There is no need for the good cop/bad cop routine here when the police can just beat it out of you. I'm still undecided on exactly how I feel about everything that transpired on Saturday, but I am pretty sure that I feel better than I felt before Saturday.

A Home for My Boys

I have great news to report about the puppy that I wrote about in February. I learned yesterday that the owner of the new apartments where both Leo and Ram have been staying while the site was under construction has taking a liking to them and wants to keep them! They will remain at the apartments where they can come and go from the gated ground floor car park pretty much at will. A couple of the workers at the apartment are staying on as caretakers and will continue to look after them. They will not be chained up, they are free to wander but have a nice cool place to sleep. And I will be able to continue visiting with them for the next 99 days (yep, less than 100 days until I move home)! This is great news, hopefully a happy ending for these sweet boys who have come to be great friends with each other and with me. I am hoping that the owner permits me to take Leo to my vet and have him vaccinated and sterilized in the next couple of months, but knowing that they will be cared for after July just makes my heart sing. A hero has been found!

Update

I thought I’d let you all know what is going on with my police case since I first wrote about the incident last week. I got in touch on Saturday, March 7 with another girl who had been attacked and she asked if I would be willing to join with her and the other women who had been attacked in Bangalore to meet with high ranking police officials to plea for action. I agreed and we set of in the afternoon to what I discovered was a protest outside of a central police station with more than 300 protesters, complete with media coverage and police control. A police official came out and addressed the crowd stating that there would be investigations into the cases and a meeting would be set up in 5 days or less. The media that was there managed to discover that I was also attacked and one after another, they came to interview me and ask what had happened.

The best part of going to the protest is that I was introduced to not only the other victims but also a coalition of lawyers (Alternative Law Forum) that have come together to help the attacked fight back against their attackers and the police who make it nearly impossible to file a complaint. I met with them after the rally and only then discovered that the complaint that had been filed in my case was not the correct one, a NCR was filed in place of a FIR. A NCR is a non-cognizable report, that is a report of a minor crime for which police can neither register a FIR nor can investigate or effect arrest without the express permission or directions from the court. This means that after the report is filed it dies and nothing happens. However, filing an FIR (First incident report) for a more serious crime automatically triggers an investigation. I am sure that the police filed a NCR in my case simply because they are lazy and there is no follow-up for a NCR and they took advantage of the fact that the person who filed on my behalf didn't know the difference between the two. After learning on Saturday that I had not got a FIR filed I made arrangements with one of the lawyers to meet on Sunday at the police station to file the FIR. After three hours at the station on Sunday I finally got the case filed and the police immediately determined the identity and address of the owner of the car that hit me. In case you happen to know him, his name is M. Sreedar and he lives at No 23/1 Velu maudaliyar Street Bangalore. The driver (whether he is the owner of the car we do not yet know) has been charged under the following sections of the IPC (Indian Penal Code): Section 504 of IPC; Insult intended to provoke breach of peace- up to 2 years incarceration and or fine, non-Cognizable and bailable. Section 506 of IPC – Criminal intimidation- up to 2 years incarceration and or fine, non-Cognizable and bailable.

After the FIR was filed the police came with me to the scene of the attack and I showed them what had happened. They asked if anyone that was there had seen the attack and I told them that I was certain that many of the people around there had seen it and I think everyone in the entire neighborhood knows of it and could likely direct them to more witnesses (I had already provided the names and numbers of two witness in my report). Just then a construction woman approached us who had seen the incident (I see her everyday while I feed Ram and Leo and we try to chat sometimes). I told the police that she had seen the entire thing, in fact she was standing less than 15 feet away from me as this thing happened. They spoke with her a bit and she seemed to corroborate my claim but when they asked if she would sign to attest to it, she refused. It's so frustrating, no one seems willing to get involved because they are too worried about themselves. In one of the cases where a woman was attacked she ran to a door to get away from her attacker and when she asked the lady at the door to call the police she flat refused because she didn't want to get involved. The problem with all of this looking the other way is that at some point these imbeciles are going to have to look in the direction that they have been ignoring all this time and I don't think they will like, or even be able to live with, what they see.

As of now the report is filed and I am waiting to see what comes of it but at least now I know I have the support of a team of lawyers as well as the many other victims who have taken the chance to fight back. Let's hope something gets done.